Uuwi na ako. Pagod na ako, ayaw ko na dito- nakakahilo, paulit-ulit na lang araw-araw. Nakakabagot din pala ang mag-review na mag-isa, ngayon ko lang na-realize. Hindi kasi natuloy si Stella. Tsk! Sabagay, hindi ko rin naman talagang inaasahang matutuloy siya- masarap lang pagpantasyahan na makakasama ko siya sa review sa loob ng tatlong buwan. Totoong buhay nga pala ito, hindi nobela. Paano nga kaya kung natuloy siya? Malamang wala akong napag-aralan ni isa. Malamang ubos parati baon ko. Malamang nahulog loob niya sa akin. Hah! Nananaginip na naman ako. Anyway, uuwi na ako. Nakabili na ako ng tiket. Gusto ko nga sana bukas na kaagad kaya lang walang biyahe- sa biyernes pa. Lintik. Sa Butuan ko na lang ipagpapatuloy ang naumpisahan ko. May ilang chapters pa akong dapat tapusin at kailangan ko pa din pataasin score ko sa mga exams- ambababa kasi. Di bale, wala pa naman akong natatanggap na sulat o anuman mula sa CTS. May panahon pa. Medyo kinakabahan lang ako, medyo matagal-tagal na rin ang lumipas- di kaya nawala na nila ang application ko? Ah, hindi! Patience lang, mon ami. Hindi pa naman ako ready- gagamitin ko na lang ang paghihintay sa paghahanda ko sa exam. Huwag lang sanang abutin ng isang taon, Diyos ko! Gusto ko nang bumalik sa trabaho, wala na akong pera! Maipasa ko lang ang lintik na NCLEX na yan, wala na akong iisipin pa at makakahinga na ako ng maluwag. Pero sa ngayon, babalik na muna ako sa amin. Kaya, sa muli, paalam na Cebu!

I heed not that my earthly lot
Hath little of earth in it-
That years of love have been forgot
In the hatred of a minute:-
I mourn not that the desolate
Are happier, sweet, than I,
But that you sorrow for my fate
Who am a passerby.

~Edgar Allan Poe (1829)

I have abandoned blogging, for a time, since nothing of importance ever transpires when one is engaged in reviewing. Indeed, so repetitive my days have increasingly become that I decided to go home and take a time off from the doldrums of incessant studying, at least, for a week. This decision was reinforced by an incident of drinking, which threw me into a horrible hangover the next morning, that I realized the state of my emotional well-being, for I do miss home terribly, so as to throw myself into such an act that I have a long time ago renounced. And so, I went home to Butuan the very next day.

The weather was bad during the entire night of the voyage. It was bad enough that some of the passengers were wide awake, looking contemplatively at the cabinets containing the life-jackets and anxiously across the hull of the ship as if it were in danger of disintegrating altogether at their seams (the memory of the doomed 'Princess of the Stars' fresh upon their minds). However, we arrived safely and unscathed, although it was raining slightly. I welcomed the rain, and the cool morning breeze that accompanied it, for it threw a peaceful aspect upon the grim port of Nasipit- so far from the hurried clamour of Cebu.

I was surprised how my dogs have grown, when I first entered the gates of our home, and did not seem to recognize me- that I hurriedly went inside the house for they threatened to give my leg a most welcoming nibble. I annoyed my dear little sister endlessly, who was beginning her classes in college and refused to be treated like a baby anymore- which made me more resolved in treating like one (and irritating her all more). My parents were lavish on giving me all the food that I have crave, especially my father who was an excellent cook, thinking that I appeared a little emaciated. For a week, I did nothing. I watched television the entire day of the week, which is something I have been deprived of in Cebu, and found the change of activity strangely refreshing upon the exhausted mind.

My going home reinvigorated me sufficiently that I was again willing, not without hesitation, to come back to Cebu and compelled to resume my review. However, I hasten to end my time here, for I have recently determined to drag all of my things back to Butuan to continue my studies there- I have become weary of Cebu. It is my hope that, having gained an impetuous start in studying, that homely distractions would prove ineffective in halting or slowing its steady course. Moreoever, I have purchased a new review book, which I am eager to peruse the contents thereof and test my readiness with an included software. All the more reason to study at home. The thought of extending my time here for a month has occured to me, however, I believe I could not endure a moment more of this wretched seclusion.

Thus, I will leave Cebu- perhaps for the final time.