Ah, my dear friend, my sole confidant! How have you been, eh? Dear me, you look neglected. Forgive me for having suddenly abandoned you—I was in desperate need of fresh air, lots of it. I should have been more mindful and said my goodbyes, despite how terrible I am at it, for I know blogs have feelings somehow. Yes, yes, I am aware that I have lost my head, for quite some time now, as a matter of fact. You should not point it out, you know—it is unbecoming of an inanimate object, especially you, to point out anything. You would be driven mad as well, no doubt, if you had the misfortune to endure what I was compelled to endure—for what end still eludes me. Perhaps it was to educate me regarding humility which, since no professor taught it when I was in school, fate decided to intervene for my benefit by fancying itself my tutor. Glad to learn it, however, I rather thought the lesson was a tad excessive. Anyway, I had managed to wade through it and I stand before you now a humbler man with much garbage to tell you. Pray, do sit down and, mind, not to litter the floor with your crumbs. There, that's a good fellow. Would you care for some tea before we start? No? Of course not, you can't have tea, how silly of me. Well, well—where should I begin?